I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sext me about skeletons
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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