butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
