I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
