Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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