I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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