Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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