Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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