My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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