Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your penis caused this!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
