I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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