is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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