Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I wannas sexs uuuuu
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
