i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
