she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
