Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

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(870): View more from Arkansas

This bar receipt from last night makes no sense

(573): View more from Missouri

You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total

(870): View more from Arkansas

I wish that would've worked

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it

(661): View more from California

I know! I’m the best!

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