East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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