I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
