brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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