Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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