I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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