i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
