Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
