every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you traded sex for a burrito?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
