Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
