the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
