So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
