WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
