I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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