How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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