Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
