I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
