Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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