She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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