It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
