so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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