Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
