You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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