That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
