Apparently you make a good broom.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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