I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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