Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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