what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
