The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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