whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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