wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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