It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
