I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize