how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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