you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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