If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
