Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
