carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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