I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
