I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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