Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
