Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
