Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
