we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize