16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
