I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
