Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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