Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
