4 words: hood of his car
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
